As I write this it's Christmas time. The festivities have me thinking about a lot of things and feeling a lot of emotions. I think back to my childhood, my grandparents, some of the crazy gifts that I asked for. When I was five years old, for Christmas I asked for (and got) my first pair of speakers! They were about as tall as me. Oh, and we used to go over to my grandma's house on Christmas eve. Her place was so much fun. She had lots of cool stuff, including a little porcelain Christmas tree with little coloured plastic things that looked like lights, and a light inside. She used to listen to really bad music on an AM radio station, which is actually probably stuff that I would enjoy now. What else? Hmmm... my other grandparents' house in Scarbourough had a really cool clock that played Westminster chimes. And my grandma there would always make good corned beef sandwiches. They had those cupboards under the counter in the kitchen with the three horizontal slits cut above the door when there is no drawer there. I think you do that with a circular saw. I always remember it looked so old fashioned. And my grandpa would say all kinds of old sayings like "Good show!". And he really liked the fact that he was Scottish and would say phrases in Gaelic all the time, even though I think he only knew a few. And they had a guest room, and I remember waking up one night and my leg had gone right through a very old and threadbare blanket. I felt very badly but never really said anything. It's strange what details we remember about our past. I know I must have been upset once or twice, because little kids get upset easily, but thankfully only the good stuff remains in my mind. It's those kinds of memories that make me go "ahhhhh".
And of course thinking about the past makes me think about the future too. When I think about all the things that have happened to me so far, and how I've grown from nothing but a little dude wrapped in a blanket, into a guy that cares deeply about his friends, loves to learn and be productive and have fun, and has so many dreams and ambitions, I realize that life is really cool. I hope I'll still feel as wide-eyed and excited when I'm sixty-five as I am at my young age now. It's easy to get stuck in the present, stuck on problems and unsure of ourselves. And of all times and places, right here and right now is definitely the most important. But not without context of where we came from, what we've learned, and who we've met. And more importantly where we're going and what our dreams for the future are. It's all about time: preserving it, understanding it and cherishing every moment.
I think about time a lot. A friend lent me a really interesting book about time that turned my head inside out. I gave it back to her after reading it once, for fear that I might read it a second time and become even more confused. But really, time creates the enthusiasm to take on projects, to apply for jobs, and to go to school. Why else would we start designing something complicated, or enroll in a long course of study? Because of what it will do for us in the future. It's that balance between the present and the future that is so important. I find that it is easy to get that setting wrong in my brain. Sometimes I get caught up in the here and now and don't care about the future. Other times I am so concerned with the eventual outcome of my efforts that I work too hard and forget to enjoy the moment. It's when the balance is just right that I feel the best. Luckily I think I'm starting to get my tuning right more often. I liken it to singing. As you sing each note of a song, you need to make it as beautiful as possible. But if you don't think about the future, you will stumble and make mistakes, or tire before you reach the end.
So, as you enjoy Christmas, new years, your birthday or the next day of your life, never forget time. You can make it, you can waste it, you can take it and you can give it. But you can't have it back if you lose it, so enjoy every moment.